The Latest Tool In The War On Terror
Packaging Terror Prevention
Would-be-terrorists: Take heed! Our strategically placed products eliminate the possibility of paradise for homicide bombers.
We are not helpless victims in the global war against terror. The Islamic "Law of Jihad" dictates that Muslim terrorists defiled by pig's blood will not enter paradise. Duly noting this irrefutable law of the Jihad, Susblood Labs has developed a patent pending, product line that combines cryogenically frozen porcine plasma, and other ingredients, that will stop would-be terrorists dead in their tracks.
Although modern Muslim’s reject these false teachings, the "Wahhabist’s of Jihad" are motivated to commit their homicide bombings with the promise of immediate paradise and 72 virgin companions for eternity. However, their strict ancient doctrine also promises that their souls are damned should their flesh come in contact with pig’s blood at the time of their death. A Muslim Jihadist's body interred with even the slightest tainting of pig's blood, will never be resurrected; and subsequently, unqualified for paradise.
Our development team cleverly calculated that the combination of utility and mobility represented by our extra-ordinary ballpoint writing pen is the ideal methodology for inexpensively deploying our patent pending terror prevention Suidae Formula© to every potential terrorist target across the world. SusbloodLabs, LLC Infidel's Revenge© Pens contain the same safe, non-toxic ingredients as our industrial strength terror prevention products AND are packaged to send a meaningful visual reminder to would be suicide-terrorists. Now everyone can have terror prevention technology at the tip of their fingers.
In the event of a terrorist explosion the components in the pens' chambers combust, combine and vaporize. The result is a fine atomized mist of fully active, reconstituted porcine plasma permeating the entire scene; defiling the flesh and soul of the suicide bomber; paradise lost for terrorists and incentive eliminated for would-be-terrorists. Our products are safe, non-toxic and do not affect the eternity of infidels in any way shape or form.
posted by Pat Campbell @ 7:04 AM
11 comments
11 Comments:
Do you think this will be an exception to the rule and allowed onboard commercial airlines? I'd love to be packing one of these "just in case". But until then I will continue to wear stiletto heels when flying as they are the only weapons allowed onboard.
Is this from a SNL skit?
i wanna pork nicole, if that's really her picture.
Mustafa Says:
Even the most misguided Muslims... that is Al-Qaida members do not believe such nonsense. The only thing that keeps a person from paradise is his/her bad deeds. A Muslim may eat pork if they are starving and not fear any sin.
Your arguments are poor and based on ignorance. Get a copy of "The Complete Idiots Guide to Understanding Islam". You might do well to study it. You claim to be "Christian" a religion full of so much violence that it has over the course of history killed more people than any other movement. The Nazi leadership was "Christian" in a Concordat with the Pope.
Those being taxed in the Ottoman Empire were Jews and other minorities fleeing peresecution in "Christian" lands. Talk about misguided look at the crooks who are professinal beggers and charletans.... Benny Hinn, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Jimmy Swaggart and on and on.
Mustafa
Israelis are rewarded with land confiscated from Palestinians through brute force. The violence they have engaged in since 1948 has cost the lives of far more Palestinians than Israelis. And yes all those good Nazis were Christians..... Hitlers main argument in killing Jews was that they were Christ killers. That was the same Christian argument since the 3rd century. However, all extremists be they so-called Christian, so-called Jewish, or so-called Muslim ARE NOT FOLLOWING THE TENENTS OF THEIR FAITH. This is my whole argument and whenever you make the argument of a bad Muslim I can find just as many Christians. The point of this stupid pigs blood syringe is absolutely ridiculous to any Muslim. That was the original thread and I refuted it by stating that only a persons good deeds are the basis for entry into Jinnah according to the Quran.
Salaam
Mustafa
There is only one Quran in the Arabic language. Original copies from the time of Muhammed are in museums. Unlike the Bible which is not presented in it's original language and has numeruous "versions", the Quran is always the same whether you buy it in Turkey, Egypt, Russia, China, India, or the US. If you want to actually read the Quran and understand it's meaning I suggest you study some Arabic, that way you can translate it for yourself.
Salaam
Mustafa
Like I said, get a copy of "The Complete Idiots Guide to Understanding Islam", then you might understand your own ramblings.
Peace.......Mustafa
PS Reading some past posts didn't you get into it with a Jewish fellow who was extremely well versed in history and religion who put you straight on your own Bible?
I would agree with most of what he said. Perhaps it was a she, they never elaborated.
Yes, Nicole appears to be a good specimen. She is much older than 30, though. Focusing on the subject of the glib pig blood idea; however, I would like to request the inventor create something to address the troubling issue of Gideon Bible smackers dayly haranguing people at the University commons. Could you put an equally derogatory Christian spin on this concept?
I am an American born to parents who emigrated from Syria. I am a Vietnam veteran (one purple heart). I am a retired police officer from New Jersey....25 years. That's who I am.
Peace
Mustafa
I won't dignify that last post with a response.
Peace
Mustafa
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