Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Central Florida market
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This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Deland Barbie's house. Her
ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
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This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two UCF Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
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This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
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She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.
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This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.
4 Comments:
WHAT? NO St. Cloud Barbie? I'm quite disappointed...
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sorely missing from this list is "Barbie de Poinciana." She would come with a collection of the all time greatest hits of Reggaeton CD compilation, pencil-drawn eyebrows, hot pants, knot-tied belly shirt and Puerto-Rican flag bandana. Also includes 1991 Honda civic hatchback with 1 off-color door and coffee-can muffler. "Ken de Poinciana" is out installing cable TV in a wife-beater and huge shorts.
What ever happened to Sumter County Barbie? She is the best of Central Florida. So much so I am ashamed to have once known her. She is a toothless hill billy, with tobacco stains on her finger tips.
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