Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Central Florida market

" Apopka Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Deland Barbie's house. Her
ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
"Mills Avenue Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two UCF Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
" Orange Blossom Trail Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
"Mt. Dora Barbie"
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.
" Parliament House Barbie/Ken"
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.


At 6:05 AM, Blogger NewsVeiws said...

WHAT? NO St. Cloud Barbie? I'm quite disappointed...

At 6:07 AM, Blogger NewsVeiws said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 8:49 AM, Anonymous Ryan said...

sorely missing from this list is "Barbie de Poinciana." She would come with a collection of the all time greatest hits of Reggaeton CD compilation, pencil-drawn eyebrows, hot pants, knot-tied belly shirt and Puerto-Rican flag bandana. Also includes 1991 Honda civic hatchback with 1 off-color door and coffee-can muffler. "Ken de Poinciana" is out installing cable TV in a wife-beater and huge shorts.

At 6:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What ever happened to Sumter County Barbie? She is the best of Central Florida. So much so I am ashamed to have once known her. She is a toothless hill billy, with tobacco stains on her finger tips.


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