Thursday, June 07, 2007

REAL STIFF DRINK

MAN SUES SHAKE MAKER FOR 3-DAY ORDEAL

The NY Post reports...
June 6, 2007 -- A Harlem man has filed suit against the makers of the nutritional drink Boost, charging that the protein shake gave him the wrong kind of lift.
Christopher Woods said that drinking cans of Boost Plus Nutritional Energy Drink left him with an erection that wouldn't go away.

According to papers filed in Manhattan Supreme Court, Woods was "caused to suffer and sustain severe bodily injuries" from "the erection that would not subside."

"It gave me a lot of energy - too much energy," Woods, 29, told The Post yesterday.

"It was unbearable and embarrassing."

He said he had to undergo two medical procedures for relief from the days-long erection, and as a result, he's now partially impotent.

"It's affecting my life because I'm not getting the pleasure I used to," Woods said.

The suit, which seeks unspecified monetary damages for Woods' "pain, shock and mental anguish," names the drink's former manufacturer, Mead Johnson, and its current one, Novartis.

Mead Johnson said it no longer has anything to do with the drink, and reps for Novartis did not return calls for comment.

The Woods vs. Johnson case dates to June 2004, which is when he said his mother bought him a case of the protein drink in hopes he would bulk up.

"It was supposed to be a health supplement," he said.

The suit says he used the "product in accordance with its intended use" - and soon had a very visible side effect.

He said the erection lasted for over three days, and his girlfriend "was in disbelief. She couldn't understand what was happening."

"It was awful. It was painful. I would always wear jeans, but it was hard to go out, so I had to buy some sweatpants," Woods said.

He said his 7-year-old son asked him what was going on and "I didn't know what to tell him."

He saw a doctor and underwent a "winter shunt" - a painful procedure where a needle is used to drain blood. The suit says he experienced "persistent problems requiring a follow-up hospital visit" a week later.

Woods said he was given two choices - undergo either an embolization, where blood is blocked from going to the arteries, or an amputation. He chose the former, but it has made it difficult for him to get a full erection and left him in "a state of discomfort."

Woods said the experience has affected his love life because it's made him very self-conscious.



5 Comments:

At 10:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Probably from the cocaine in his system. Just another "Denny's" frivolous lawsuit. Probably should be castrated to take care of his problem. Did he axe his wife what she thought of the problem, or the other chilren? How about we call in Reverand Jackson, and get his erection blessed. It probably looks like Barack Obama... without his ears attached, and one eye closed..

 
At 12:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would love to see the sales charts for this product in 3 months! Now that this story went public, I bet sales spike upward. Tell the guy Thanks! and give him 20% of the increase sales for a 6 month period. Then send him on his way.

 
At 3:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are way too many references to Woods and Johnsons in this story about the never-ending erection.

 
At 5:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the perfect product for John McCain to endorse, now that he'll soon be dropping his bid for El Presedente of the United States! Bob Doyle has the viagra market locked up. I can just see it now! John McCain clutching his black government pen in one hand, and a can of "Boost" in the other. "My friend.. Boost worked for me, it'll work for your too!" "My girlfriend was in disbelief because my election lasted for over three days, she couldn't understand what was happening." Wait a minute... You said erection... not election.. right..?

 
At 4:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This story is making me hard just thinking about it.

 

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