Welcome to Florida!

Inmate uses a Bible to pound an ink pen into his eye in a suicide attempt. The Aristocrats!

Man says he was kidnapped, dropped off in the woods, and hunted by four men with bows and arrows. Adds that he recognized two of the men because he bought crack from them earlier.

There's nothing wrong with getting married at the courthouse. Unless there's a warrant out for your arrest, that is.

Man kidnaps children, then calls 911 on himself.